In 1986 our fire district bought two new Pierce fire engines and our FF's went to Florida to pick them up, driving them 3500 miles back across the country to their new home in Bellingham, WA. After almost 20 years of faithful service the engines needed to be replaced. These were the first fire engines I ever drove and responded in so there are some great memories there. Once again we ordered two brand new Pierce Contender fire engines and went to Florida to pick them up.
The trip started with a drive to Seattle where we would stay the night and fly out in the morning. We had dinner at Taco Bell, which normally would not be worthy of a mention, but as it turns out it would be indicative of how the trip would unfold. We ordered food that required utensils to eat. Problem is they had already run out of utensils and failed to mention it. After the obvious Q of "why did you sell us food that requires tools to eat with and you don't have any?" went unanswered, they actually offered us a food preparation glove to eat with. Not wanting to look like window lickers from the short bus we tried straws, cup lids and chips to eat but to nothing worked. The store manager thought it was funny, probably didn't think so when her district manager called the next day with our complaint. After a hideously unsuccessful bout with a salad and some kind of cheese potato medley, Nourse braved the dealer-infested alley to steal some sporks from KFC.
While checking in at the hotel we witnessed the horrible death of an exotic fish due to the attack of a larger fish in the same tank. The owner said the fish usually would lay upside down and didn't move for long periods of time, uumm... don't think so. After a whopping 3 hours of sleep it was off to the airport where we ran into one of our FF's returning from his own trip. Interesting timing.
After a long day of flying, putting pretzels and ice cubes on the Chiefs head while sleeping, watching Napoleon Dynamite, and harassing each other/everyone else on the plane, we were ready for some fun. First order of business was a game of miniature golf with real alligators in the water hazards, I'm not kidding. After all the tough talk I lost horribly. The next order of business obviously had to be a visit to the local Hooters. Can't divulge much here other than "we had a good time!" After that we started again at the hotel pool (Rick James says 'sekuridy') and ended up at the beach. Not much I can divulge here either as the old saying goes, "What happens in Florida, stays in Florida".
The next day it was time to meet the new engines and look them over. WOW, these are the coolest things ever! After a long check out process we rock, paper, scissored for who got to drive them first, and I won. We left for some lunch and our luck continued. 30 minutes after ordering only two of us had gotten our food, patience was running a little low. After a talk with the manager our bill disappeared and so did we. Back at the plant for a tour and some pump operation training. We also went to the Pierce corporate store, which consisted of a large closet with almost nothing in stock, to buy some stuff. Thanks for the t-shirt Terry! One last pic with the engines in front of the corporate sign, and we were off on their madden voyage. After a planned short detour and a small episode of getting lost we were finally on the freeway and heading home.
I will try to sum up the trip home in one long and to the point paragraph.
These things drive nice, hey why is it so hot in here I can't breath and my face is melting, open window for cool air, oops Florida style torrential down poor pelting you unmercifully about the head face and neck, window back up, hey why is it so hot in here I can't breath and my face is melting, wash, rinse, repeat, defective heater, dirty diapers in the gas station islands, sleazy hotel and no sleep, how did that alarm clock get turned off, driving, driving, driving, are we there yet, who's that singing, I don't know but he is the best ever, stop over in the hood for some gas, a mugging and a quick getaway, we were not the ones doing the mugging, yes I look like a thug with my glasses and a hooded sweatshirt on which gave us street credibility and almost certainly saved our lives, hey this neighborhood doesn't look so nice lets leave before we die, back on freeway, driving, driving, driving, talking on intercom to people who don't exist yet still pretending they do, lottery tickets with dreams of immense wealth, or just $9 and a free ham, it's snowing and the roads are icy, are we insured, nice hotel, midnight run to mechanic to defrost "stuff" on the engine from 18 degree weather, and once again no sleep, driving, driving, driving, signal with the emergency lights to communicate between the engines for the entire trip I'm sure Chief won't notice, Chief never notices, Jack in the box for breakfast, why does the bathroom smell like a sewage plant, don't know vomiting will talk later, Jack antenna ball for engine, hang in there buddy you'll make it, driving, driving, driving, stop for food and bathroom, why is there a Chinese man in the bathroom putting the toilet seat back on, don't know and must leave before we find out, more awesome display's of singing prowess, Chiefs parents house, this explains a lot, dinner, small winged marsupial screeching and makes grown man scream like little girl, inappropriate jokes, too tired to maintain composer, where's the cheese, oops never mind, time for sleep, no it's not, more inappropriate jokes, text messages-n-stuff, some sleep finally, pressure wash the engines, hey where is Jack, he took one for the team, driving, driving, driving, playing game with intercom making animal noises and watching entire fields of future Big Macs look, LMAO while doing this across three states, late night hotel check in, lets hit the pool/hot tub, thanks for not feeding us Chief, midnight front desk begging for food, sympathetic clerk takes pity and raids breakfast closet, some sleep if people don't snore, oops people snore, no sleep, driving, driving, driving, why did I take this trip I hate myself and am about to scratch my won eyes out I'm so board lord please take me now, bathroom break it's all better now, are we there yet, drop engines off in Puyallup, who names a town Puyallup, drive van to Bellingham recapping the non-sense we just put our selves through, 7 days, 10 states, 3500 miles, approximately 40 hours of driving per person and the realization that with the exception of the coolest truck stops in the world there is nothing other than insanity, cows and stampeding horses in the Midwest. |
